


Fellowship as a Feast

by swampslip



Series: i eat and eat and eat [2]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Blow Jobs, Breeding, Creampie, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, Knotting, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, Squirting, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, non-binary john marston
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:35:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swampslip/pseuds/swampslip
Summary: “Oh my God,” John whispers, “You were serious.”“If you’re not interested, that’s fine.”“No- I… I am,” John says thickly, “I thought you were pullin’ my leg.”“I’m not.”“I wasn’t laughin’ at you, I was laughin’ ‘cause I… I wouldn’t’ve thought you’d bother with me.”
Relationships: John Marston/Charles Smith, past arthur/john
Series: i eat and eat and eat [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096316
Comments: 10
Kudos: 69





	Fellowship as a Feast

**Author's Note:**

> there's three parts to this and this is the middle but it was done first and i was gonna post it anyway so here i am 
> 
> nub, cunt, slit, chest, hole, john is post top op and there's discussion of infertility 
> 
> john's kinda ummm fucked up in this ngl, his and arthur's relationship was really complicated and it kinda skewed his view on himself because he only ever had arthur help him through his heat solely as like,,, a favor or a chore haha

John doesn't like him, he thinks.

Doesn't really greet him, which Charles doesn't mind, of all the crew John is the quietest.

So after a month of relatively no interaction besides living and working together and their surprisingly minimal need to converse-

John sitting a few feet away from him on the hill with his own lunch is surprising. 

John still doesn't speak, glances at him curiously and holds out a roll of fruit leather, though.

Charles cautiously takes it. 

"Thanks."

"Mm."

"Berry?"

"Yeah."

Charles nods and that's the last word between them before they both just focus on eating their lunches, watching over the property from their vantage point.

\--

This becomes a habit, John joining him, always bringing some peace offering of a sweet or fruity thing. 

If any words are exchanged, they're kept short and sweet and it's odd that John of everyone managed to fit perfectly into the gaps he left aside.

John's pretty quiet unless he's drunk, then he's giggly and sloppy and laughs like a dog barking in joy, leaning on whoever or whatever is nearby. 

Charles doesn't quite trust these people enough to have more than a drink or two yet but he finds the antics amusing sometimes.

When John's sober he's quiet and a bit slow.

Not in a stupid way but in a thoughtful one, taking a moment to move or answer for any casual need, quick to respond if the need arises, however. 

Charles likes John, finds him tolerable, at least. 

He likes the habits they've built, the familiarity, the predictability of them.

Then John sits down, a little farther away then normal, with a bag of ginger cookies he passes off to Charles and nothing else.

Charles watches the younger carefully for a moment, when John just sits, arms wrapped loosely around his own stomach, then breathes in subtly and blinks at the scent of pre-heat.

John must notice his expression because the younger shies a bit, holding himself tighter, shoulders lifting around his neck. 

"Sorry," John murmurs in that gravelly voice, "If it bothers you… I can go."

"You're just as free to be here as I am."

"Don't be all…" John sighs and lifts one hand to rub at his face, "I get a bit funny, don't like bein' alone, but you can tell me to go." 

"... You aren't bothering me."

John nods softly and draws his legs up then presses his face into his knees. 

Holding himself tightly. 

“Are you spending it with Arthur?”

John makes a small, choked sound and turns to look at Charles incredulously, unfolding a bit in his shock. 

“Arthur? No, he- He ain’t interested.”

“Someone else?”

“... No.”

Charles hums quietly and continues eating on the corn and beans left in his lunch tin. 

“I could help you.”

John huffs a quiet laugh and rubs his face lightly, enjoying the bit of levity in the joke. 

He knows full well that Charles hardly tolerates him, he’d give up on bugging the older man entirely if he wasn’t such a selfish son of a bitch. 

He finds a bit of solace, with Charles, a bit of calm. 

When Charles goes still and doesn’t join in the amusement John turns his head to look at the older man. 

Charles’ mouth is set in a firm line, his brow heavy and eyes avoidant. 

“Oh my God,” John whispers, “You were serious.”

“If you’re not interested, that’s fine.”

“No- I… I am,” John says thickly, “I thought you were pullin’ my leg.”

“I’m not.”

“I wasn’t laughin’ at _you_ , I was laughin’ ‘cause I… I wouldn’t’ve thought you’d bother with me.”

“Bother with you?” Charles asks quietly and that frown is turned at John. 

“I know I ain’t- You’ve been nice, y’know? Lettin’ me sit with you, but I know you ain’t fond of most folk n’ I don’t wanna-”

“I don’t mind it,” Charles says slowly, “... I don’t mind you.”

“You’re nice to be ‘round,” John whispers, “All those folk in there… Love ‘em, really, but sometimes they’re…”

“Incessant?” 

John snorts and shoves his hair back roughly as the wind starts to pick up. 

“Do you stay here?”

“No, there’s a lil’ casita higher up on the property.”

“... You’re pretty close,” Charles closes his lunch tin and sets it to the side, “You smell close.”

“I… Yeah, maybe a day or two,” John says hoarsely, “I’ll get my shit and head up tonight.”

“Do you want me to come?”

“If- You can…” John shrugs with a weak sound, “You could just come up once or twice if you don’t wanna stay with me.”

“... Have you had an Alpha before?”

“Yeah,” John whispers, “Been a bit though.”

“Do you _want_ me to stay with you?”

“Not if you-”

“John.”

“Yeah, yes, please,” John covers his face and curls up tighter again, “Shit.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” John whispers, “Like I said, been a bit.”

“Being with an Alpha, or having a heat?”

“Both,” John scrubs at his face then drops his hands into his lap, “Been sick, kinda, missed some.”

“... This have to do with Arthur?”

“Kinda.”

“Anything I need to worry about if I’m gonna help you?”

“No, he’ll… He’s got Mary.”

“Ah.”

“Sorry,” John mutters and struggles to his feet, “Not tryna be whiny or nothin’. I should go get some shit packed and…”

John finally meets his eyes fully, nervously. 

“I usually bring some easier food up there, but if you want anything there’s an icebox but no fridge, and a stove.”

“I can help, you know,” Charles offers gently as he puts everything back into his lunchbox, including the cookies, “If you want.”

“I- Yeah.”

\--

“What do you normally bring?” Charles asks, leaning against the doorframe to John’s room and it’s the first time he’s seen inside. 

It’s pretty barebones, almost as empty as his own room, with the addition of a few photos and books. 

“Just…” John rubs at his neck anxiously, “Canned foods, some clothes, blankets… Uh, some Omega things.”

Charles is quiet for a moment, listening to the building around them for anyone nearby. 

For privacy. 

“You can still use them. I don’t mind.”

“Yeah,” John whispers and tenses just a bit, moving to his closet and digging around, “Thanks. Know some Alphas think they’re… Wrong, or somethin’.”

Charles just hums softly, catching a glimpse of a few of the toys John moves from a small box to his duffle. 

“Do you drive up?”

“Sometimes, tried goin’ up on a four-wheeler once but that- Uh,” John flusters and zips the bag closed, shutting his closet. 

Charles quirks an eyebrow at him and John shifts his weight awkwardly. 

“Anything I should bring?”

“... Depends.”

“On?”

“I…” John glances nervously behind Charles out into the hallway and fidgets with a strap on the bag, “Do you wanna use protection?”

“I was expecting that you would.”

“... Jesus,” John mutters and sighs roughly, “I don’t. It won’t take anyway, but if you still want to or… If we need to?”

“I’m clean.”

“Yeah,” John whispers, “Same.”

Charles falls quiet for a moment and John just waits. 

“Did Arthur?”

John stares at him for a moment then his expression pinches and he nods. 

“But you don’t want to.”

“I’d… I’d like to try without.”

“Oh,” Charles murmurs, “Okay, I see.”

“But if you-”

“I’ll bring some in case you change your mind, but I’d rather know before you’re in heat.”

Charles is witness to John’s face flushing and the younger’s scent slowly sweetening with arousal. 

“... You said a day or two.”

“Might’ve overshot.”

“Should we go then?”

John just nods weakly. 

\--

Charles drives them up with John’s quiet direction. 

It’s a smaller building than he was expecting, an open layout cabin, the only interior door leading to a nice bathroom with a large built-in stone tub. 

There’s a thin layer of dust on everything and John leaves him to look around as he puts the food away in the kitchen and tries to clean up a bit. 

Charles sets his bag on the bed and slips out the back door onto the deck, overlooking the valley of trees and grass and small patches of white flowers. 

Mountains in the distance that you can’t see from the ranch, where it sits too low with too tall of surrounding trees. 

When he silently slips back inside John’s leaning heavily on the counter, facing him with his eyes closed tightly. 

Charles softly closes the door behind him and John flinches, opening his eyes and looking up across the room at him. 

“You alright?”

John nods and rubs at his face and Charles doesn’t buy it but he doesn’t push, moving towards the live-edge bookshelves on the wall and peering at the titles. 

“S’goin’ faster than normal,” John murmurs as he moves around in the kitchen, out of Charles’ sight now, “Or… What I remember bein’ normal.”

“How long _has_ it been?”

“Four years?” John whispers, “It was before I… I’m sure you’ve heard Arthur say somethin’ ‘bout me leavin’, before.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard.”

“Before that.”

“Mm, and you said you’ve been sick? Since before I joined?”

“ _Since_ … Actually,” John closes a cabinet then comes around and hovers a few yards away, “They kept breakin’ then they just… Stopped.”

“... Did Arthur do something-?”

“No… It wasn’t his fault.”

“Hm.”

“My first couple were… Rough, he helped but he made it clear he didn’t wanna…”

John swallows loudly and shrugs. 

“His fiancé?”

“He’s courtin’ her, yeah.”

“... That’s difficult.”

John huffs softly and smiles sadly, rubbing his knuckles over his mouth. 

Charles grabs a book from the shelf and moves to sit in one of the large armchairs by the fire.

“If you need anything,” Charles says quietly and evenly, “I’d like if you asked for it.”

John shifts his weight before coming closer slowly and hesitating. 

“I don’t… Need anythin’, yet.”

“ _Or_ if you want something.”

“Can I just…” John whispers, hoarse voice gone even thicker with the hesitance as the younger steps between Charles’ legs and drops to his knees, “While you read?”

“... I can read this later,” Charles says quietly, frowning at John in confusion in gesturing lightly with the book, “If you want to-”

“I just need to do _somethin_ ’ right now, but if we can go slow I’d… Feel better, I think.”

Charles studies the younger for a moment and chews at the inside of his lower lip while John waits. 

He’s growing more and more curious about how John and Arthur did things. 

“Okay,” Charles says softly and shifts the book to one thigh, thumbing it open. 

John stays still for another second then reaches for the closure of Charles’ jeans and starts to slip the buttons free, scooting closer and his breath is hot through Charles’ boxers. 

Then bony fingers slip in and wrap around his cock, pull him out, and lips are pressing to the head and Charles takes a deep breath. 

He’s expecting John to stroke him, or take him deeper into his mouth but the younger wasn’t lying about ‘slow’.

John’s thumb pulls back his foreskin and John’s lips are a little dry, leave him

Return, wet with spit and Charles _tries_ to focus on the forward of the book. 

It’s something academic, local, about the regional environment but if he’s honest he cares a lot less about it now, with John gently exploring his cock. 

When he takes another deep breath he can smell John’s arousal and bites the inside of his cheek as he starts to harden. 

John’s touches are light, almost achingly so, almost teasing but he’s fairly sure the younger is just being hesitant, not coy. 

John turns his head and mouths down the side of Charles’ cock, rubbing his thumb over the head. 

Charles’ cock twitches. 

The younger pauses, his head almost laying on Charles’ thigh. 

Charles has the odd urge to apologize but holds himself steady. 

Then John presses his lips to the older man’s cock, moving down to where his knot is just the lightest swell right now, a noticeable but subtly thicker section. 

John moves his other hand around the back of Charles’ hips and his fingers clench in the back of Charles’ flannel. 

“Do you want me to do anything?” Charles asks thickly. 

John shakes his head lightly and starts to softly suck at the side of Charles’ knot. 

Charles can’t help the small noise that escapes him before he presses his lips together. 

He can’t pay attention to the book, at all, he’s somewhat flattered John thought he had that kind of self-control-

Or maybe John doesn’t realize how _good_ this feels. 

How good _he_ is. 

Charles hesitantly moves his free hand to the top of John’s head. 

Lightly sinking his fingers into John’s hair. 

John goes still again and Charles isn’t sure if he should pull it back, maybe John doesn’t want to think about who’s attached to the knot he’s toying with. 

Then John’s eyes close tightly and he presses his face into Charles’ hip, exhaling shakily. 

Charles gives up on the book, closing it and setting it on the side table. 

“Christ,” John whispers, and hides his face as Charles can see him shifting on his knees, squeezing his thighs together and Charles smells heat. 

Sugary and strong. 

John turns his face again and starts to mouth at Charles’ knot again, sucking and moving up to the head while the hand that was playing with Charles’ foreskin drops down, disappears under the younger. 

And John whines quietly as his lips close around the flare and Charles’ expression pinches, curling his fingers in John’s hair and closing his eyes. 

John’s shifting against him as he takes Charles deeper, slowly working down Charles’ cock until it’s nudging into his throat and John stops, swallowing lightly. 

Whimpering.

Charles opens his eyes and can see the curve of John’s spine moving as the younger is grinding his hips against his hand. 

Making soft noises that buzz through Charles’ gut from his cock. 

Small, slick sounds as the scent of his arousal and heat grow and Charles grips the arm of the chair with his free hand. 

John whines, loud and long around him and his whole body twitches, shoulder jerking sharply a few times then John stills for a moment.

Swallows and swallows around Charles before pulling off, sitting back on his knees and his hand is still shoved down the front of his pants. 

Eyes open and wet, face flushed and he’s not meeting Charles’ eyes. 

“You…” Charles clears his throat lightly and shifts. 

“S’fast,” John whispers, “Goin’ fast.”

“... Do you wanna-?” Charles asks gently and John nods, rocks back onto his feet, standing and starting to strip. 

And Charles admittedly just watches, as John moves to pile his layers of clothes on one of the dressers, the sun is setting behind the cabin and the light coming inside is warm, golden, but they’re mostly in shadow. 

John steps back over to him and hesitates, standing in front of the older man. 

Charles reaches out and nudges him back, stands and shrugs out of his flannel, dropping it onto the chair quickly followed by his t-shirt. 

John hovers but doesn’t move towards him, and Charles realizes the younger is waiting for permission. 

Despite the fact that there’s slick running down John’s inner thighs and he smells like he’s firmly in heat he’s still _hesitating_. 

“Ask, John,” Charles reminds him gently and John’s eyes flick up to his face. 

“Please?” John whispers. 

“What?”

“... I don’t know,” John says roughly, “Need somethin’ in me.”

“Come here,” Charles murmurs and gently takes hold of John’s elbow, walking the younger over to the bed and getting John to lay down in the middle. 

“Do you want me?” Charles asks quietly, “My fingers? Or one of those toys?” 

“Fingers,” John whispers. 

Charles crawls onto the bed and lays down alongside John, leaning in and pressing his lips to the younger’s jaw. 

Settling his hand on John’s crotch, dipping his fingers into John’s slit then pausing, looking at John’s face for direction. 

John squirms and Charles’ fingers are quickly soaked with slick as John’s hips rock up, force his fingers back further. 

“This good?” Charles murmurs and presses a soft kiss to John’s cheek, temple, under his ear. 

“Inside?”

“Yeah?” Charles angles his arm so he can reach further then rubs his fingertip over John’s hole, “Man… You’re really worked up.”

“Worse than normal,” John huffs softly, “More than normal.”

“Hm,” Charles slips his middle finger into John and meets no resistance, pulls it back, and slides his middle two back in. 

John’s burning hot and soaking wet and Charles’ cock twitches against the younger’s hip at the thought of being inside. 

Knotting John, breeding John, because John wants both of those things from him. 

John lets out a tiny gasp and his head tilts back, when Charles' fingers curl inside him.

There's that golden light streaming in now, reflecting off of some of the glass picture frames and an old shaving mirror.

Glittering on John's skin and giving a glow streaked in various spots down his body. 

"Anything you don't want?" Charles murmurs.

"Don't choke me," John whispers shakily, "N' don't hold me down."

Charles doesn't reply for a moment, processing the fact that John answered so specifically and so readily.

John starts to fidget and closes his eyes tightly. 

"If- If you want those then-"

"I don't," Charles says quickly, sucks on his lower lip for a moment in thought as he moves his thumb to John's nub, just resting over it, "I meant more in the line of is there anywhere you'd rather I didn't touch?"

"Oh…" John whispers and shifts, his hands fidgeting over his belly, "Chest is fine but not… Not real sensitive. Scars..." 

John gestures at his own face then shrugs lightly and opens his eyes, staring at the wood beams above them.

"Okay," Charles murmurs, tucks his face into John's neck and kisses next to the younger's claiming spot and John twitches in surprise then groans softly.

"Four years since you been scented, as well?" 

"No," John whispers, "More recent, couple months ago."

"... Arthur?"

John nods and his lips part involuntarily again when Charles' fingers start to slide in and out, pressing against that tender spot inside of him.

"Fuck," John whispers and rocks his hips into the touch, "Charles."

"Hm?" 

"Just… Feels good," John says weakly, "Thank you."

Charles huffs softly in surprise against John's neck before lightly nuzzling his cheek into John's hair. 

"Didn't-" John starts then cuts himself off, hands shifting nervously, "Didn't realize… How bad I've felt."

"Bad?" Charles murmurs and noses at the edge of John's claiming spot until the younger turns his head to give him access. 

"Lonely."

"Ah."

"Jesus… First time I sat with you I was so scared," John laughs weakly, "Dunno if you could tell."

"... Why were you scared?" Charles presses his cheek to the claiming spot and feels John shiver, "Lotsa Alphas here."

"No, you just… You never seemed angry or mean, but you kinda have this way of ignorin' people that…" John bites back a whimper as Charles adds another finger, "Makes 'em feel stupid for tryin'."

"I don't understand the need for idle conversation, if you're not talking about something with a purpose, why talk?" 

"I… I get that, a bit, now, but I thought you hated me," John whispers, "First couple weeks was like you couldn't care less I existed."

"... I didn't know you."

"Yeah. S'just that first day, first couple, you… You seemed uncomfortable when people tried to greet you. If you didn't want Dutch or Hosea or Arthur or any of 'em talkin' with you," John shifts a bit more onto his side so Charles can get at his claiming spot more, "You probably weren't interested in me, either." 

Charles doesn't respond for a moment, pressing his lips softly to the claiming spot and moving John's hair out of the way as he presses against the younger's back.

Cock nestling against John's ass. 

"Why did you start eating with me, if you thought I hated you?"

"... Lonely," John whispers.

"You were? Or you thought I was?"

"... Bit of both, but mostly me," John admits then huffs weakly and turns his face into the pillow, "I've always been selfish."

"... Selfish?"

"Thought you hated me, thought you'd be uncomfortable, annoyed, but _I_ was lonely," John whispers and his voice sounds wet, "I didn't care."

"I told you I didn't mind."

John nods briefly then shifts, spreads his legs and nudges Charles' hand away before turning onto his stomach. 

Shaking just a bit as he lifts himself onto his elbows and knees. 

"... John," Charles says quietly. 

John shrugs weakly but his face is pressed into the pillow and there are small hitches in his breathing that twist Charles' heart uncomfortably. 

"Would you feel safer on top?" Charles offers gently. 

John's still for a moment then shifts back onto his knees, sitting up and rubbing roughly at his eyes. 

"I'm fine," John mutters.

"I'm not taking it personally, you don't have to lie." 

John's expression crumples a bit and he nods. 

Charles wiggles out of his pants and boxers, shifts himself up to sit against the headboard and holds out his clean hand to John.

John takes it, lets himself be pulled into straddling Charles. 

"I had to guess," John mumbles, "What you'd like."

"What?" 

"At lunch. Bribin' you into lettin' me stay." 

Charles huffs softly and moves John's hand to his shoulder before holding the younger's hips and looking up at him as he slips his fingers back inside. 

John's face softens and he presses closer, closing his eyes.

Head tilting forward, mouth lax as Charles fucks his fingers into the Omega. 

Until John's breathing fast and whining softly, clenching around the fingers. 

Charles shifts his hand to push that spot deeper and faster and John grabs at his shoulders. 

"Fuck- Fuck, gonna-" John whimpers and squirms, trying to close his legs, "Wait."

Charles stills his hand and squeezes John's hip. 

"What?" Charles whispers, "Alright?"

"I- I don't wanna make a mess," John says weakly. 

Charles blinks in surprise then frowns lightly. 

"You were about to come," Charles says slowly.

"Yeah."

"Do… Do you not want to?" 

"I don't… I don't wanna get you dirty," John says shakily, biting his lip harshly when his walls clench around Charles' fingers. 

"... I'm not sure what you mean," Charles says quietly, "You don't wanna come on me?" 

"No. It-" John shifts and his breath hitches, gripping tighter at Charles' shoulders. 

"Do you think I don't want you to?" Charles frowns and rubs up John's side, "Did Arthur not?" 

"He- No- I _don't know,"_ John whispers shakily, "Makes a mess." 

"So does slick."

"... You don't care?"

"If you don't want to… I'd like to be a good Alpha for you," Charles admits softly, "Help you have a good heat. Make you feel good." 

John slowly nods and closes his eyes tightly. 

Charles starts to move his fingers again, gradually building up to that same speed and pressure until John's trembling and folding in on himself, hips jerking as he clamps down on Charles' fingers. 

Slick and a thinner, sweeter smelling come gushing out of John with each thrust of his fingers, soaking his hand with milky, sticky fluid running up his wrist. 

"Fuck," John whimpers and presses his face into Charles' neck, "Fuck- Keep goin’- Please?"

Charles shifts his arm to turn John a bit in his lap and keeps pumping his fingers until the younger is pulsing around him again, fucking him through the second wave. 

John grips at his upper back and shoulder blades and his hips jerk onto Charles' fingers while he gasps. 

Then John presses closer, fights against Charles' grip on him. 

"Inside," John whispers, "Knot me." 

"You sure?" 

John nods jerkily and wraps his arms around Charles' shoulders, hiding his face in the older man's hair and Charles finds it irrationally cute. 

John clinging to him, begging for him. 

He guides the younger's hips over his and his cock throbs as he lines himself up, heavy and hot. 

Knot just starting to swell. 

He rocks his hips lightly until the head of his cock pops inside John with a slick sound and John exhales shakily against his neck. 

Tilts his hips and slowly lowers himself into he's fully seated on Charles' cock. 

Clenched tight around the older man's length and Charles makes a small noise, leaning his head back against the headboard. 

He moves both hands to John's hips and lightly grinds the younger against himself. 

"Charles," John whispers, "God, fuck- Feels good."

“Yeah,” Charles murmurs and squeezes John lightly before gently running his palms up John’s sides, down the younger’s legs. 

John’s trembling lightly, under his touch and Charles grits his teeth as John starts to kiss and mouth at his neck. 

Something about the action is anxious, John’s fingers flexing on his back, hips tilting. 

It’s all rhythmic, paced, controlled. 

Suppressed. 

“John,” Charles whispers, “Still alright?”

John nods shakily, pressing his upper body closer and leaning into Charles. 

“Kinda… Overwhelmed,” John says weakly, “Can’t think.”

“... You know why?”

John’s quiet for a long moment, and his hips stop rocking and his hands come to rest over Charles’ spine. 

“Yeah,” John whispers, “‘M sorry.”

Charles tilts his head to lightly press his cheek to John’s temple then resting there. 

“It’s alright,” Charles murmurs, gently scents John and there’s a lingering heat but it’s not nearly as strong, “Did it break?”

“No… Still wanna,” John whispers, “Still feel it.”

Charles hums softly and turns his face into John’s hair. 

Spends a few moments just gently transferring his scent to John, hoping some of his calm will wear off on the younger. 

“God,” John mutters, “Sorry, dunno why I’m-”

“It’s fine,” Charles says, pushing his voice just a bit, moving his hands to John’s thighs and squeezing, “I’m not upset. You said, but we kind of jumped that.”

John nods lightly. 

“Let’s slow down, then, alright?” 

“... You’re a very patient man, Charles,” John says with a weak laugh, pressing closer like there’s space between them that needs removing and yet their chests are flush. 

“You don’t deserve to-” Charles cuts himself off and frowns lightly, “Haste fosters resentment.”

John huffs. 

“Do you disagree?”

“No… S’just a funny thing to say right now.”

“Why?”

“Wanna be hasty,” John mumbles, “Kinda scared of it.” 

"Scared of what?"

"How… How good this feels," John mutters, "How much I want you."

"Scared though?" Charles pushes him back to look at him, "Why are you scared?"

John just looks at him for a moment then gestures between their stomachs, shoulders lifting. 

Shying, shrinking in on himself. 

"Can't have pups," John mumbles. 

"... You've said."

"N' you're just helpin' me, 'cause you're nice. You don't _want_ me… As an Omega. As _yours_."

"... Don't speak for what I want," Charles says quietly, "You're getting upset over an assumption."

John frowns lightly and watches as Charles' hands slide up to his waist, hold him steady. 

"I wasn't planning on claiming you and I'm helping because I want to, but I'm not opposed to the possibility."

"... But I-"

"And I don't want kids. Funny how that works out," Charles says carefully, "But you didn't know that, because we hardly know each other."

"You're talkin' more than I've ever heard from you," John whispers. 

"... Let me be honest with you, I don't like that you're scared," Charles says quietly, "I don't like what you've implied of your past, of how Arthur handled this, or how you seem to blame yourself."

John's breathing turns a little shaky, staring at the older man. 

"And if you… If we ever _were_ to mate, I'd want it to be at a point where we aren't scared of what we don't know of each other."

"Jesus," John whispers and weakly laughs, "Way to lay us bare."

Charles rolls his eyes silently then nudges John as he leans back, until the younger is laid against his chest. 

John moves his hands under Charles' arms and squeezes the older man lightly. 

"Now I know why you don't speak much. We'd all look like fools."

"Implying you don't without me trying."

John huffs, a soft, happy sound and squeezes again, pressing his face into Charles' chest and nuzzling slowly. 

Leisurely, wantingly, not for appearances or from habit. 

Not with expectation, but _desire_. 

Charles slides one hand up John's spine and then down, slowly rubbing over the younger's back. 

“I don’t want you to be scared of me,” Charles says quietly. 

“I ain’t… Not really,” John sighs roughly and rubs at his face tiredly, “Sorry to drag you into this mess.”

“... By mess, you mean you and Arthur?”

“No… There’s no me n’ Arthur anymore, s’just me, my mess.”

Charles huffs quietly and moves his hand up to John’s nape, covering the claiming spot that’s heavily scarred from being scruffed over and over. 

John’s breathing hitches lightly and he goes still against Charles. 

Slowly Charles squeezes the younger’s nape, and slowly John untenses then shivers.

And slowly that sugary heat starts to bleed back into John’s scent, the younger’s walls clenching around Charles’ cock. 

John makes a weak sound and rocks his hips lightly. 

“There you go,” Charles murmurs, “Slow.”

John curses under his breath and lifts himself up just an inch or so before settling back down, legs shifting and hands moving restlessly over Charles’ sides and stomach. 

“Jesus,” John whispers, “Haven’t had a heat this bad, worst was my first, my head’s goin’ all fuzzy and I just- I wanna-”

“Hm?” Charles asks quietly and rubs his rough thumb over the edges of the claiming spot, “What do you want?”

“Wanna be bred,” John says shakily, closes his eyes tightly and clenches around Charles again, “Want you to… To knot me.”

“You sure?” Charles whispers and John meets his eyes, nods once, slow and pointed, then leans in until his lips are brushing Charles’, eyes shuddering closed again. 

Charles moves the rest of the way and presses their lips together, guiding John’s hips to roll against him as he kisses the younger. 

Moving his hand down from John’s nape to his ass, squeezing lightly and encouraging John to lift and drop in slow, deep movements, his cock bottoming out each time. 

Until John’s helplessly whining against his lips and leaking slick like crazy, grabbing at Charles’ arms as his cunt clamps down. 

“Fuck,” John bites out, voice rough and high as he trembles, hips jerking and walls pulsing around Charles’ cock. 

Charles sucks in a quick breath and steels himself against thrusting hard up into the younger, trying to make good on that promise of slow. 

“Christ- Charles,” John says shakily and groans weakly as he leans into the kiss and bites lightly at Charles’ lower lip, “‘Gain, please?”

“Yeah,” Charles says hoarsely and guides John back into that same deep and slow rhythm, tilting the younger’s hips until he’s hitting that tender spot with each thrust and John’s mouth falls open, the younger pulling back, panting, whimpering, looking down between them at their bodies moving together. 

Tensing and clenching hard when he realizes the thrusts feel rougher because Charles’ knot is starting to swell. 

“Please,” John murmurs again and moves his hands up to Charles’ shoulders, his thumbs aligning with the older man’s collarbones, “Breed me.”

“Gonna,” Charles promises quietly, “Close.”

John nods shakily and gasps as Charles’ cock twitches, knot pulsing as it grows, popping into him with a slick sound. 

Then back out, with an even more obscene sound, starting to stretch his hole so perfectly as he shivers and bows his head, lower lip trembling. 

“Good?” Charles asks and his voice wavers hard, catching as it gets harder to fit his cock back into John, “You good?”

“Yes, yeah, please.”

Charles grits his teeth and grabs John’s hips firmly, holding the younger in place and fucking up into John. 

John making a few weak sounds before crying out when Charles tilts his hips and speeds up, heels planted into the mattress. 

“Charles- Gonna-” John warns shakily and Charles just makes a weak encouraging sound. 

John shudders against him and lifts his hand to his mouth to muffle his whimpering as he comes hard, legs tensing as he soaks both of them. 

“John,” Charles gasps and seats his cock in John, pulling the younger down onto him and breathing heavily as his knot locks in John.

John’s hips rock through the aftershocks and his walls pulse around Charles again, pulling the older man over, cock jerking as he comes inside the younger. 

John makes a shaky noise and leans back in, glancing at Charles tentatively, expression heavy and hazy, pressing his lips back to the older man’s as Charles fills him up. 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://providentialeyes.tumblr.com)   
>  [my twitter](https://www.twitter.com/gwennolmarie)   
>  [horny twitter](https://www.twitter.com/swampslip)


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